Is sex more work than play in your marriage? Do you schedule it in like a dentist appointment? Do you make love once a month, twice at the most?

If you answered yes to these questions, you are among the forty million Americans trapped in a low-sex or no-sex marriage.

Now there is help from nationally acclaimed sex and marital experts Barry and Emily McCarthy, who for years have helped couples break down the barriers that have developed between them, and rebuild closeness and longing. Their groundbreaking ten-step program is designed to get sex and intimacy back into these marriages and revitalize relationships. Crafted by years of clinical practice, Rekindling Desire first shows couples how to root out the "poisons" that inhibit sexual desire: shame, guilt, anger, passivity, as well as medical side effects and physical dysfunctions. With sensitivity and tact, the McCarthys then lay out concrete techniques and effective strategies that help couples increase sexual awareness, confront inhibitions, revitalize desire, and integrate intimacy and eroticism.

An exciting new way to spark and sustain desire, Rekindling Desire confronts the secrecy and stigma of low-sex and no-sex marriages, teaching couples how to enjoy a fulfilling, life-long sexual partnership.

Average Customer Review: ( 25 customer reviews )
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The McCarthys' have written other good books about sex, and are known for their conversational, non-textbook way of writing. Since Barry McCarthy is a sex therapist, he understands real people and real people's problems. No time is wasted on blaming; instead there are understandable and doable steps outlining a path to change. Great information, clearly written. For people who want to work together realistically to bring out the best in themselves, this is a wonderful book.

94 of 98 found the following review helpful:

"A wonderful book"Sep 03, 2004
By Rebecca Pardue
Finally, an empathetic, informative, non-judgmental approach to understanding and resolving what felt like an overwhelming problem. I was impressed that the book offered such kind, practical advice without assuming a clinical tone. It was clearly written and by following their suggested techniques, my husband and I are truly emerging as an "intimate team". Our thanks to the McCarthy's for their sensitive and sage advice. This book is not for those who wish to take a TV commercial pharmaceutical approach to their sexual issues; however, I would highly recommend it to couples who seek to understand and strengthen all aspects of their intimate relationship.

102 of 107 found the following review helpful:

A satisfied reader....Jul 20, 2003

What a surprise to see that the reader from Kalamazoo was disappointed with this book .... Au contraire, I thought the authors did an excellent job of laying out reasons for lack of marital bliss between the sheets, and then presenting great step-by-step strategies and techniques for effecting change.
There were many eye openers:
* Good sex in a marriage contributes 15-20% of marital vitality. Bad sex contributes 50-70% of marital malaise.
* Romantic love is inherently unstable usually ending before marriage or seldom lasting past the first year.
* Sexual desire is based on emotional and sexual intimacy NOT on romantic love or passionate sex.
* YOU are responsible for yourself as a sexual partner. It is NOT the job of the spouse to make you desirous or turn you on.
* Good intentions are not enough. You need a PLAN to enhance your sexual relationship. The most successful strategy is a gradual step-by-step process.
* The most powerful aphrodisiac is NOT an esoteric technique; it is an involved, aroused spouse......
The McCarthys did a fine job of differentiating "media hype" sex,(spontaneous,intense,nonverbal,passionate,perfect)from "real marital sex", (less than half of the time there is equal desire,arousal, orgasm and satisfaction).
I also enjoyed learning about the poisons for sexual desire. It was a jolt to discover that sexual desire is SO easy to kill.
I could go on about the merits of this book.... Suffice it to say; it was a great and informative read. I highly recommend it for all couples, but especially for those grappling with sexual concerns.

41 of 44 found the following review helpful:

Wholistic Approach to Fulfilling Sexual RelationshipSep 09, 2004
By Robert P. Weil, Jr. "Ph.D."
I particularly liked this book because it approaches the problem of rekindling sexual fulfillment in marriage from the viewpoint of the whole person. That is, it deals with the range of mental and emotional elements which contribute to real sexual fulfillment. This permits the reader to identify the elements applicable to his or her relationship and also to recognize that remedial action may require a range of actions.

I also liked the authors' thesis that sexual fulfillment, even in a good marriage, is something which should be viewed as an objective to be tended to, requiring a certain amount of ongoing attention.

75 of 85 found the following review helpful:

Read Passionate Marriage insteadApr 21, 2004

I had read sex-starved marriage prior and there was very little new information that I learned in this book. The author definitely takes a much more clinical approach than Sex Starved Marriage but in the end he is basically saying the same thing - increase desire through more physical arousal. It's not a bad "introduction" to the subject and it (along with Sex Starved Marriage) will help couples when the low-desire partner is motivated to work on the problem. This is rarely the case.

It wasn't until, I read Dr. Schnarch's Passionate Marriage that I discovered the "real" dynamics at play in our relationship. Passionate Marriage has a completely different approach to it. If you could only buy one book, I would recommend Passionate Marriage instead.

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